Top of The Pops

So, I decided to return to the scene of the crime, where Aretha Franklin's Respect was disrespected on the dance floor of a particular Spanish club. The floor this time was thankfully empty, instead the bodies were crushed against the counter taking advantage of the not so "happy hour".

Yes, that's right, if you had been there earlier you would have been able to indulge in two pint size plastic cups of calimucho (otherwise known as bad wine and coca cola); for a generous sum of five euros. Also available as misappropriately named "minis", were two pint size cups of beer for a similar price. This misnomer was by no means a bad thing, if getting yourself perpetually 'hammered' was your goal. However this particular night, that goal was made even more difficult when they ran out of those so called 'mini' cups that would have properly secured my happy hour for hours...

As the clock struck twelve and the fairytale of cheap drinks came to an end, i prayed that the dj would not take advantage of my sober state and severly depress me as he had so effortless done before. I stood there. Flashed back to my first time in Top of the Pops. I remember being disappointed by the choice of tracks and also the Dj. It was a bipolar mix of indie music; an attempt to be bohemian but failing miserably. Highs and Lows where they didn't belong like singers who should never try acting.

After all this you can imagine that i was not jumping at the chance to return but i did so anyway. Everyone deserves a second chance right? After all it was a friend's birthday, couldn't say no now could i?
Empty it might have been but it did not remain so for long. The people streamed in, the music got good and i found my lips moving along to the kaiser chief, old school classic and dear i say material girl by our dear madonna. Ok, so he wasn't perfect, he tripped up a little bit when he decided playing a slow trotting beetle songs (which would put any warm blooded creature to sleep) would bring him stardom. He quickly redeemed himself with Jet's "Are you gonna be my girl". Keeping playing like that Dj and i just might ;)

You Got me...

My blessing, that allowed me to see the best there was in you and to know that i would give all that I could to your cause, has now become my curse. A quality so sought out in the heart of man, that of generosity, of kindness, unconditional love, understanding, empathy and the likes is to be disliked by the one who gives it so willingly. You will find as I have that to hold these traits when once it used to be a blessing is nothing but a burden. In these arms, people find a way to be selfish and steal affection where they can and leave those arms empty of appreciation. These arms still hang, waiting for you to take me in and hold me. They wait to be taken and to hear the words that i am your friend and you got me...

Instead i find that altruism is not a gift to the individual who possesses it but to those who choose to take what in most cases is offered out of love; but each time to return less and less. My generation it seems, believe the whole world should revolve around them, that includes looking out for number one. The mentality remains that if you were dumb enough to give that part of yourself, and then, to suffer the rejection that you should not complain.

What i ask is this my friend, my girl...What am i to you? A rock or your pillow?
If i were to fall to my knees, would you stand and look down at me kneeling here in your shadow or would your knees bleed like mine because you are beside me? I ask you, if you've got me or if you'd let me fall?

Things fall Apart

Sitting here and watching the neon shooting stars fall from the side of a shopping centre. I remember that christmas is creeping ever closer and it is time like these that we make those long trips homewards bound. Towards our roots, towards our fathers and our mothers. To hug our brothers and sisters. To sit on barely used dining tables, specially polished and adorned for this so called reason to be with family. To laugh and drink and make merry and forget the other 364 days of the year that we will never talk and the other 364 days of the year where the phatom of silent walks beside us with it's haunting touch to remind us of where we stand; to remind us that things are still the same.

Those neon stars and music notes that reminds us of christmas movies and happy endings could barely repair those things that have fallen apart. I think of fights, i think of a broken hearted woman who struggles to hold what is left together of love. They tell you it is to last forever. They say it is worth the pain. Our dreams might take us away for a short time and perhaps when we wake, we are deceived so briefly that the nightmare was left in that other world but things still fall apart. We are all here around this table holding on the lines between us, that has frayed so much that in time it will fade and it will let us all go...far far away to a place of no return.

What ever happened to the happy endings that films are made of?

Music is Poetry

I'm not your substitute ever

Gone and closed the curtain
ready or not, here i come
this is the last time that i will say these words
come on honey, take a trip with me
slow down, lie down, remember it's just you and me

He spends his nights in california
tonight we drink to youth and holding fast the truth.
My tea's gone cold, i'm wondering why I got out of bed at all,
wrote a letter to my father
do you know where your heart is?

Something always brings me back to you
Take me now baby here as i am
you don't have to be beautiful to turn me on
it's time when i want something more, someone more like me.
hand in hand we descend to the graveyard

Hurray for the child that makes it through
see the sun kiss parts of the moon.
What am i to you, tell me darling true?
so sweet so beautiful, every daylight queen on her throne...
i don't know why i was so afraid all the time