Lady

I lost my groove and I need to get it back! That said - where to start? Uninspired and disappointed by the cache of unimpressive role models out there and I mean those who are living of course. We can only look backwards to a time where women were ‘getting their groove reinstated’ and showing that being a lady doesn’t mean being weak, pining for a man or camping out in the kitchen. It was more, it was substance and it was in your face. Ladies were worshiped and men were warned because they knew they were dealing with fire.


We have behind us our Monroe, Onassis, Hepburn, Loren and Diana and before us stand Lohan, Beckham, Campbell, Simpson, and Aniston – did I mention I was uninspired? It just seems that in place of style, substance, intelligence, captivating beauty and selflessness I find myself bombarded constantly by “women” (and I use this word lightly because we wouldn’t want to be placed in the same group as these females) who don’t realise that tantrums should stop at the age of five, a woman who resembles a jarrold’s mannequin doll than a human being and women doing desperate things to hold on to their men and I ask myself where did we go wrong?


I fear that there is no alternative because even when we fool ourselves into believing there are inspiring women, the Hollywood and ‘rock and roll’ lifestyle whisk them away for a quick remodelling and we are left with half a woman. Thus those who previously hailed the flag of ‘down-to-earthism’ quickly squeeze it back into their Louis Vuitton handbag. The Media continues to perpetuate these images of shiny size zeros blondes and brunettes with their self-loving, tantrum throwing, live fast die young Girl Scout motto that throws dignity out the window, exiles selflessness and bring in a new era of mannequin ignorant dolls that are trapped in a nightmare between Barbie and the stepford wives. Ah the god ol’ days.


We have films that promote the idea that we are nothing without our ‘man’ as the movie ‘He’s just not that into you’ tactlessly portrayed. I was sort of pleased to see that ‘the Women’ didn’t really go down that line of reasoning. Yer ok, she was a mess for the first half of the film and simply wanted to chop off his grand jewels as would any woman who just found out that her man had been dabbling in other merchandisers. But she resisted. She took the path that most women fail to grab in both hands, reinvented herself, got her own business and most importantly she got her groove back! You go girl. Now if only others would so kindly follow suit.


After all this bad news I decided to go on a hunt for some real ladies, women with more than just a cell between their ears, those making waves and breaking them. If she wasn’t the first to come to mind, well she should have been. There is a reason Michelle Obama’s secret service code name is ‘Renaissance’, may she bring the cultural revolution that we’ve all been waiting for. Here is a woman, who no doubt raises eyebrows and bring outs every woman little green friend. She is an incredible talented lawyer, first lady, mother and currently a style icon according to Vogue (because we know what they say is gold...). I mean seriously how many women can pull off bright pink flawlessly? I rest my case. She carries herself with dignity and oozes self confidence with every stride (that her shoes are just glad to be part of actions). When you see a woman who you just want to be, hands down, you know she’s doing something right. She’s ticked all my boxes, watch out Jackie O, looks like the crown is up for grabs.


My second nominee for awesomeness would have to be Ellen Page. She’s not your average type of lady I’d admit and she even calls herself a tom boy but this muse of mine thankfully has not yet been tarnished by the Lohans and Hiltons of the world as she had chosen to be tucked away safely in Halifax. Our pro-choice feminist enjoy a tad bit of basketball, snowboarding and I hear she’s more Aladdin than Sleeping beauty; High Five sister! She has never really followed the conventional rules of what a woman should be and you can see that from the roles she picks when acting. I have always been impressed by her choices which are usually never the same – from super mutant heroine to psychological thrillers to tortured teen in a basement (yes, I rose an eyebrow too). You can’t help but watch her. She has shown her dislike for such ‘stereotypical roles for teenage girls’ calling them ‘too sexist’. Someone pinch me I think I’m in love. Can she do no wrong? what’s that you say? Her middle name’s Philpotts? Well we’ll be having none of that!


Now I know they are other women out there such as our dear own Kate Winslet, Meryl Streep and least we forget new comer Duffy. So a toast to the Winslets, Obamas and Ellens, I raise my hat to you for giving us hope that there are still avant garde females defining what it means to be a true lady.

Top of The Pops

So, I decided to return to the scene of the crime, where Aretha Franklin's Respect was disrespected on the dance floor of a particular Spanish club. The floor this time was thankfully empty, instead the bodies were crushed against the counter taking advantage of the not so "happy hour".

Yes, that's right, if you had been there earlier you would have been able to indulge in two pint size plastic cups of calimucho (otherwise known as bad wine and coca cola); for a generous sum of five euros. Also available as misappropriately named "minis", were two pint size cups of beer for a similar price. This misnomer was by no means a bad thing, if getting yourself perpetually 'hammered' was your goal. However this particular night, that goal was made even more difficult when they ran out of those so called 'mini' cups that would have properly secured my happy hour for hours...

As the clock struck twelve and the fairytale of cheap drinks came to an end, i prayed that the dj would not take advantage of my sober state and severly depress me as he had so effortless done before. I stood there. Flashed back to my first time in Top of the Pops. I remember being disappointed by the choice of tracks and also the Dj. It was a bipolar mix of indie music; an attempt to be bohemian but failing miserably. Highs and Lows where they didn't belong like singers who should never try acting.

After all this you can imagine that i was not jumping at the chance to return but i did so anyway. Everyone deserves a second chance right? After all it was a friend's birthday, couldn't say no now could i?
Empty it might have been but it did not remain so for long. The people streamed in, the music got good and i found my lips moving along to the kaiser chief, old school classic and dear i say material girl by our dear madonna. Ok, so he wasn't perfect, he tripped up a little bit when he decided playing a slow trotting beetle songs (which would put any warm blooded creature to sleep) would bring him stardom. He quickly redeemed himself with Jet's "Are you gonna be my girl". Keeping playing like that Dj and i just might ;)

The Voice of the Women...

well my friend reminded me that i hadn't posted in a while. It is not because nothing has happened around here or that i have nothing to say but simply because sometimes you have so many things swimming around in your head; you have to wait to them to settle like dust before you know where they fall and how they fit together. In which case, there is something to write about.

right now...all i have are quotes from some of the best actresses the human race ever produced. I'd like to live by them. some you might know from films and others well....they are just so darn good.

Bette Davis

I went away from home to be on my own. I don't want to be like my mother, a 'yes' woman for some man. I want to be a person of my own." --as Helen Bauer in EX-LADY (1933).

I'd like ta kiss ya, but I just washed my hair."--as Madge in CABIN IN THE COTTON (1932)

"If you could read my mind, you'd shrivel where you stand." --as Joyce Arden in IT'S LOVE I'M AFTER (1937).

Doctor, will you do something for me? When you get inside my head, see if you can find any sense in it." --as Judith Traherne in DARK VICTORY (1939).

You sound like a book, and a very cheap one." --as Maggie in THE GREAT LIE (1941).

Katherine Hepburn

The one thing sharper than a serpent's tooth is a sister's ingratitude." --as Agnes in A DELICATE BALANCE (1973).

Will you take your cheery personality and get out of here." --as Ethel Thayer in ON GOLDEN POND (1981).

Audrey Hepburn

"If people loved each other more, they'd shoot each other less." --as Ariane Chavasse in LOVE IN THE AFTERNOON.

Look, I know it's asking you to stretch your imagination but, don't you think you could pretend just for a moment that I'm a woman?" --as Regina Lampert in CHARADE (1963).

Rita Hayworth

The first time in my life I ever really wanted a man to kiss me, and he had something else to do!" --as Maria Acuna in YOU WERE NEVER LOVELIER (1942).

Greta Garbo

Gif me a visky, ginger ale on the side. And don't be stingy, baby." --as Anna Christie in ANNA CHRISTIE (1930).


Ava Gardner

"Do me a favor. Don't complicate my life right now." --as Ellie Holbrook in SEVEN DAYS IN MAY (1964).

Marilyn Monroe

"I can be smart when it's important, but most men don't like it. Except Gus. He's always been interested in my brain." --as Lorelei Lee in GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES (1953).